I mean, yeah it’s brave that those of us who transition know they’re walking into a life of discrimination with their heads held high, but other than that we’re just all normal people!
Well, we all went through this point, but is it really worth remembering fear over all the things have been done along the way?
As for me, despite the problem (dysphoria) is the problem that should not give reasons to be proud of, going over it and deliberately moving ahead to the purpose can be fully considered as courage over hostile (partly or mostly) society and finding yourself.
And despite all the fears, all the hardships, everything, you could break (commit suicide, reverse the changes and so on) yourself during transition under all the inner and outer pressure. And if it doesn’t happen and you hold head high, then you can fully consider yourself as a brave person, and take this way not as burden, but as some kind of trial of inner spirit and strength. Not for others, but for yourself.
But the worst thing is that people don’t know what the bravery is.
I want to thank you, Transchisophrenic. You may not have been the only thing to influence this, but you were the feather that had tipped the scales, caused me a completely miserable day due to how nervous I was at work, and made me decide to confront myself about what (or who) I am for real rather than trying to ignore it when people were looking and generally pushing it away.
I don’t know what will happen once I go to the doctor which will happen next week, and I’m still just as nervous and will probably continue to feel quasi-miserable until then, but thank you. It will be a long time until it happens if at all, but maybe it will all get better.
For me it was the thought that staying as “him” was unbearable. I couldn’t stay him. Lost my spouse in the process and I might lose my family….but what are my options? If I go back to being him I will be miserable, and I would probably not be around for long–my dysphoria had gotten to the point it was causing severe depression.
So, I move forward. day by day, one step ahead of the next. It is all I can do. Thing is since accepting who I am, I am much happier despite all the drama of what others think. I found my friends fairly accepting, and made a lot of new friends in the process. As to the family that weren’t accepting. That is their problem, not mine. The only thing I consider myself courageous on is coming out to people. It really puts you in a vulnerable spot.
This is exactly what finally motivated me to make the change. To stop waiting for the right time (which is always now) and go for it. It was actually a song called Happy Birthday by the Cruxshadows. http://www.songlyrics.com/the-cruxshadows/birthday-lyrics/
Author, thank you! I just discovered this comic yesterday and this strip is my favorite so far. The tipping point analogy is so true. I finally hit mine and started my transition 18mos ago, when I had a wife, 2 kiddos, mortgage, and a whole lot of explaining to do to everyone who saw me as male for 4 decades.
I only wish I got to that point sooner. But better late than never is the mantra I go by now, when the regret starts closing in.
So true
I wish people didn’t call us brave.
I agree. I’d rather they just congratulated us and that was that.
I mean, yeah it’s brave that those of us who transition know they’re walking into a life of discrimination with their heads held high, but other than that we’re just all normal people!
Yup.
This. This says it all.
OMG, so true. I wish I were as strong at that. go go go! sigh……
Well, we all went through this point, but is it really worth remembering fear over all the things have been done along the way?
As for me, despite the problem (dysphoria) is the problem that should not give reasons to be proud of, going over it and deliberately moving ahead to the purpose can be fully considered as courage over hostile (partly or mostly) society and finding yourself.
And despite all the fears, all the hardships, everything, you could break (commit suicide, reverse the changes and so on) yourself during transition under all the inner and outer pressure. And if it doesn’t happen and you hold head high, then you can fully consider yourself as a brave person, and take this way not as burden, but as some kind of trial of inner spirit and strength. Not for others, but for yourself.
But the worst thing is that people don’t know what the bravery is.
I want to thank you, Transchisophrenic. You may not have been the only thing to influence this, but you were the feather that had tipped the scales, caused me a completely miserable day due to how nervous I was at work, and made me decide to confront myself about what (or who) I am for real rather than trying to ignore it when people were looking and generally pushing it away.
I don’t know what will happen once I go to the doctor which will happen next week, and I’m still just as nervous and will probably continue to feel quasi-miserable until then, but thank you. It will be a long time until it happens if at all, but maybe it will all get better.
Yep….
For me it was the thought that staying as “him” was unbearable. I couldn’t stay him. Lost my spouse in the process and I might lose my family….but what are my options? If I go back to being him I will be miserable, and I would probably not be around for long–my dysphoria had gotten to the point it was causing severe depression.
So, I move forward. day by day, one step ahead of the next. It is all I can do. Thing is since accepting who I am, I am much happier despite all the drama of what others think. I found my friends fairly accepting, and made a lot of new friends in the process. As to the family that weren’t accepting. That is their problem, not mine. The only thing I consider myself courageous on is coming out to people. It really puts you in a vulnerable spot.
So true! I wish people didn’t call us brave for being so depressed that it was the last thing to do.
This is exactly what finally motivated me to make the change. To stop waiting for the right time (which is always now) and go for it. It was actually a song called Happy Birthday by the Cruxshadows.
http://www.songlyrics.com/the-cruxshadows/birthday-lyrics/
Yeah. Sometimes it literally comes down to two choices: see a doctor, or step in front of a vehicle moving too fast to stop in time.
I’m glad I chose the former before the pain drove me to the latter.
This…right…here…so…much…
You give us all hope. So we can give ourselves hope.
Author, thank you! I just discovered this comic yesterday and this strip is my favorite so far. The tipping point analogy is so true. I finally hit mine and started my transition 18mos ago, when I had a wife, 2 kiddos, mortgage, and a whole lot of explaining to do to everyone who saw me as male for 4 decades.
I only wish I got to that point sooner. But better late than never is the mantra I go by now, when the regret starts closing in.