That friend from college
on 09/01/2015
When I revisit my past, now freed from all fears and doubts about myself, it surprises me how much I would bury my feelings so no one could notice anything strange. And sometimes, I didn’t even allow myself to think about some matters because it might give away that I was secretly female. And now, many years later, I’m starting to rediscover what I really felt inside. What didn’t make any sense back then is now crystal clear.
After a lot of thought and discussion with a lot of Final Fantasy fans out there, we end up agreeing on one thing: the best Final Fantasy is, with high probability… the first one you played.
And for those wondering, yes, that’s an actual checkmate position.
“…it surprises me how much I would bury my feelings so no one could notice anything strange” and ” I didn’t even allow myself to think about some matters because it might give away that I was secretly female”
Oh that is so, so true.
Final Fantasy IX is my favourite Final Fantasy and it also isn’t the first one I played. Do I get a cookie?
Ok, gotta side with Martin for this, IX is the best.
But VII is really awesome as well.
This happened to me too, though the realization occurred between my friend/unrequited crush’s relationships, making it particularly hard.
We still talk occasionally, but his s/o still sucks. >.> I say that with all objectivity… ^_^
I remember this so well… I met my friend at a summer job (which I will call Andy) and ended up becoming roommates in the same college. Andy and I were inseparable from each other, and it was very fun to be with him. He would get more girls asking him out and it would bother me, even the girl I thought I liked ended up asking him out, but instead of feeling crushed Andy turned her down. I had dreams where I would be the girl in and I would be with him kissing and feeling happy with him, but I always dismissed those dreams because I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me (it wasn’t that was the real me feeling like a woman with him). Sometimes… I still think I had a chance with him if I just came out earlier but that chance is long gone. He loves his girlfriend and want to propose to her someday and I am happy for him, and I too was very very jealous of her and thought the same things as you did. ^^
Recently I have admitted that inside I have always been a girl, and as of April 2015 I confessed to Andy who I was and he told me it was alright to be myself and wanted me to continue to be who I was because… he knew me before I knew myself. He knew I was jealous, he knew I was always fighting with myself in my dysphoria, and eventually told me he was happy I accepted who I was.
Hehe I even told Andy recently about my dreams and my Jealousy and he told me “I am honored you were attracted to me.” and he kinda laughed about it, and he said “and your jealousy wasn’t a secret, I already knew about that because you don’t hide it very well.” 0.0
So, I may have lost my chance with him, but I am happy he is happy with his girlfriend. I am happy too with how things turned out for myself, because… it was another man who helped me find myself and confirm it, and I love him even more for helping me, and accepting me for who I truly am. ^^
Thank you for your wonderful comic, it was beautiful. <3
I had a situation like this. It was a life long friend of mine. After my transition I had to face those feelings, and I confessed.
It didn’t go how I would have wanted, but I am happy I got that baggage off my chest.
I have experienced this, exactly this. Then I sort of had too much wine and shared this realization. Awkward.
omg my best friend’s favourite FF game is IX too lmao